Notes from Interview

1.     Do you think you conformed as a teenager?

a.     “We did a lot of that (conformity). It was a small town of only about 2 thousand. I grew up in a small group of people. Family was very important growing up. My family was very important.”

2.     Do you think you were pressured to conform?

a.     “I just went along I guess, to be social. I never felt pressured though.” “Some kids smoked and others drank but I didn’t do any of that. I was my own person.” “They stayed my friends though and didn’t pressure me to do any of that.” “I wasn’t a conformer.”

1.     Did your parents pressure you to practice and play, or were they against your musical passion?

a.     “My family wasn’t very musical…but if my father gave it a chance I think he would have been very musical.”

b.     “They didn’t pressure me into play. My dad was happy about my passion but he wasn’t happy that I wouldn’t play for people. My mother just thought of it as something I would do.”

2.     How do you think the pressure you received from playing piano affect your feelings towards it?

a.     “I even got sick from the pressure of playing. I couldn’t take it. It caused me not to play a lot. I couldn’t stand playing in competitions.”

b.     “I did well in competitions and I don’t know why I felt so pressured. I was just hard on myself.”

c.     “One judge praised me as very talented and said I would progress very well. He gave me perfect marks for one of my pieces but I still came out of the competition crying because I did not think I did well enough.

d.     “I remember he wrote ‘very talented and keen.’”

e.     “I wasn’t cut out for performing, I was just to sensitive.”

f.      “I was very hard on myself and I think that may be because of my teacher, but also myself.”

3.     If you could go back and do it again, would you change anything?

a.     “I would have gone to college.” “I was interested in a broader education, not just piano. But they thought I should major in music. I was really interested in getting a good education.” 

Essay Topic

-I want to focus my essay on social conformity through gender roles. I am going to interview my grandmother, a skilled pianist, and try to discover whether or not society pressured her to fill a more "female" role in life, instead of music. I want to find out whether or not her parents and her peers pressured her to give up her dreams in order to meet society's norms. Also, I am wondering if her severe stage fright had to do with society's pressures. My hypothesis is that she indeed was pressured by society to fulfill a more female role in life, instead of her dream of pursuing music as a career.

Interview Questions

1.     How was it being a teenage girl growing up in Canada?

2.     What were considered the “cool” things to do when you were in high school?

3.     How did you fit into social groups? Were the interests you had common among your friends? Were what you enjoyed considered cool?

4.     How would you define conformity?

5.     Do you think you were pressured to conform?

1.     When did you start playing piano and when did you realize it was your passion?

2.     How did your friends view your love for piano?

3.     Did your parents pressure you to practice and play, or were they against your musical passion?

4.     In your response above, do you think that affected your stage fright?

5.     If you could go back and do it again, would you change anything?

Brainstorming: Conformity, Then and Now

How has the pressure to conform changed over the years?

-In my opinion, conformity has always been about fitting into the "norm" of society. Most people have the urge to feel like they belong somewhere. This is why we see people giving up their individuality, or being influenced by peer-pressure, all in attempt to fit into social groups. Wanting a sense of belonging pressures people into conforming in whatever way fulfills their needs.

Why has conformity changed?

-The reason different generations have different ideas of conforming is because society changes. Although I may have a different view of what conformity means from my grandparent, both views will lead back to trying to find a sense of belonging. Whether it be my generation's pressures of getting into an elite college, or my grandparent's generation's pressure to become successful in the workplace, we all feel the pressure because we want to be accepted and feel that sense of belonging.

Heart of Darkness Essay: Second Body

-The deeper Marlow travels into the darkness of the African Congo, more light is not only shed on the false perception of the African people, but also on his unconscious thought. Marlow’s eyes metaphorically begin to open to understand more about his unconscious thought. Again, it is extremely ironic how the darker it gets for Marlow emotionally, the more light he sees in himself and his unconscious. The reader can view this phenomenon as Marlow discovering more about the ninety percent of his thoughts, his unconscious thoughts. Ross C. Murfin touches on the subject of how little control we have over our thoughts. In his essay, Murfin states: “Freud went further, suggesting that the powers motivating men and women are mainly and normally unconscious” (Murfin 114). What both Murfin and Freud are suggesting is that what people believe are the own, original conscious thoughts are really influenced by outside sources and come up with in the unconscious part of the mind. This can relate to Marlow quite well due to the fact that Marlow started his journey with thoughts that the Africans were savages. This concept most likely came from the culture in which he grew up. The general consensus of the Europeans at that time was that the Africans were uncivilized savages; so naturally, Marlow would acquire the same perception. It is not until he travels deep into his unconscious that he can understand his previous perception is far from the truth, and that the Africans are people just like he is. Freud created a brilliant analogy to explain this phenomenon. The Freudian Iceberg explains his conception of the human psyche. Roughly ten percent of the iceberg is above water, which represents the conscious mind, and the other ninety percent is submerged into the unconscious ocean. Within the unconscious, the Superego, Ego, and Id lie. Freud’s Superego is the voice of reason in the unconscious, and the Id is the direct emotional response. The Ego finds itself in between and can flow freely in both the conscious and unconscious part of the mind. The Ego is the tool in which Marlow can shed more light on his unconscious. As he travels deeper into the darkness of his mind, he uses the Ego to do so. Freudian theory sheds immense light on understanding how to view Marlow’s journey and how/why he comes to his decisions.

Heart of Darkness Essay: First Body

-When Marlow decides to venture into the darkness of the African Congo, he is convinced his reasons are only for profit, despite his Aunt’s ideas. Marlow’s Aunt believes that Marlow will go to Africa to spread knowledge and kindness to the savages of Africa. Throughout Marlow’s journey, the reader begins to see signs of Marlow shifting more from a standpoint of profit, to truly caring and wanting to understand more about the peoples of Africa. Marlow states, as he rambles on about how the Africans are good crewmembers on his ship: “Fine fellows – cannibals – in their place” (Conrad 395). Although Marlow’s statement is still extremely racist and objectifying, there are signs of his conscious thoughts shifting from the majority of the racist Europeans, to a view of equality. This is radical thinking for a European of the time, which explains why Marlow’s thought process takes so long to shift. Marlow begins to realize that the African people are just trying to survive in the best way they can. He also realizes that they are extremely motivated and hard working individuals, which he admires. It is necessary to understand that Marlow still has an extremely skewed and racist view, but the deeper he travels both into the jungle and into his unconscious, he begins to break the ties with his unconscious European ideas of the Africans. Marlow indeed does have a breakthrough and dismisses his un-original, unconscious thought that the Africans are savages when he is the deepest into the darkness he will ever be. Once Marlow has found Kurtz and is ready to head back down the river, many of the savages who knew Kurtz gathered on the bank of the river near the boat just staring. The other Europeans get the idea that it would be fun to take target practice at the Africans, as if they were animals. With Marlow’s newly acquired knowledge and understanding, he is disgusted by their actions and does the best he can to stop them. Marlow blows the steamboat horn to scare away the Africans, and to much success the Europeans are angry with Marlow because they cannot shoot the Africans. “’Don’t! don’t you frighten them away,’ cried someone on deck disconsolately. I pulled the sting time after time” (421). Marlow’s actions prove his compassion and understanding that the Africans are just as much of people as the Europeans are. Marlow cannot be at fault for not coming to this realization sooner due to the fact that the society he grew up in unconsciously affected his perception of the African theory. Freudian theory can explain this phenomenon and outline Marlow’s journey from a psychoanalytic outlook.